Erwin Update...

Speaking of butchers...I almost forgot about writing a follow-up about Erwin, the green leafy plant... (See post from July 30, 2008)

After some investigation, I found out that it was named after a butcher(!) that ran the cafeteria for a short time in our office. Apparently, the plant reminded the consultants of that handsome, sensitive man! Go figure!

To Erwin...

Last night I went to hear David Sedaris read from his new book at the Literaturhaus.

My rhubarb princess organized the tickets and surprised me with an early birthday present - a copy of Sedaris's new book, "When you are engulfed in flames", and a 30 oz can of Libbys Pumpkin in a can. Both would good presents on their own, but together they are absolutely amazing! Thank you!

After the reading I got in line to get my book signed. The guy in front of me asked David Sedaris to sign his book "to my special freak", so I didn't feel too weird about asking him to write it "To Erwin..." It was a good way to get the conversation started. I told him how Germans call me Erwin, but my real name is Erin. He laughed! We talked about expatriate pissing contests and how just recently a butcher tried speaking English to me (See previous post). Living in France, he could totally sympathize. He said, "That happens to me sometimes too. I just want to say them 'F--- YOU. F- - - YOU!!!"

Afterwards the rhubarb princess said, "You do realize he ended the conversation by telling you to F---- off!?"

"Yeah", I replied. "I think he really liked me!"

The butcher, the baker...

...I don't know any candle makers...but if I did, they would probably try to speak English with me too. Grrrr....

Picture little old me (minding my own business of course!) trying to pass as a German in our neighborhood supermarket -- holding my cloth bag, carrying only what I can easily transport on foot and will be consuming in the next 4 hours, standing 2 cm away from the next person in line, willing to push if necessary etc.

I approach the meat counter hoping to buy my 327 grams of ground beef and be on my way.

Below the original transcript:

Butcher: "Bitte schön."
(What'll it be?)

Me (In immaculate German): Grüss Gott. 300 Gramm Hackfleisch bitte, wenn genügend da ist.
(300 grams of ground beef please, if you have that much.)

Butcher (In English): "There is enough."

I look interested in a flyer lying on the meat counter and ignore the fact that he has acknowledged my English accent.

The butcher points to another pile of store flyers and says in English: "This is next week letter."

Me: "Danke."
Steam is rising up through my body and has almost reached my head now. I'm seriously wondering if this guy actually thinks his English is better than MY German.

Me (In my best "Oh-now-I-understand" tone): Sie wollen Ihr Englisch üben.
(You're trying to practice your English.)

Butcher (In English): "No, no. I just try to be helpful."

Now the steam is billowing out of my head. I'm thinking: Did I ask... for "help"?
"Oh, m-hmmm. Ich spreche Deutsch, wissen Sie?"
(Oh, m-hmmm. I speak German you know.)

Scale shows 328 grams. Butcher (In English): "Any more?"

Me: "Nein, passt schon."
(No, that's fine.)

Butcher (Still in English): "Finished?"

Me (I'm not giving up, damn it!): JA!

Butcher hands me the ground beef, leans over the counter and speaks as if he were recording the accompanying audio tapes to "Teach Yourself German: The Ultimate Beginners Course" Lesson #3 "Saying Goodbye": A-u-u-f-ff-fff W-iee-d-eee-r-see-e-he-en. Scchhh-öö-n-e-ee-eees Wo-ooc-h-eee-en-n-dee-ee
(Go-o-o-o-od By-e-e-ee. Ha-aa-vv-ee-e a nice we-e-e-e-eke-e-end.)

As I'm walking away, I hear the butcher address the next customer in line:
"Servus, was kriegst'n?"

Flo says I should go back and talk Bayerisch with him. Yeah, I'll show him who's boss. Next week would be a good opportunity for that when Wammerl goes on sale for 0,59 cents/100 grams.

I'm afraid though that it would probably go something like this:

Me : Daan Sie mia a hoiwades Pfund Hack geb'n?

Butcher: I'm sorry, what was that?

Me: I kriegerd a hoiwades Pfund Hack. Biddschee.

Butcher: Sorry, still didn't catch that.

Me: Oh, &@# it! Just gimme some ground beef!

After I left the grocery store tonight, completely irritated, I had flashback to a similar incident when I was first studying in Munich NINE years ago. I ordered a Laugensemmel on the second day in Munich and the baker started talking to me in English. Some things never change!

So go on...bring on those candle makers!

Erwin's back...

... from outerspace! Well, uh, at least from the two ends of the universe - Los Angeles and the Uckermark.

Thanks Lisa for sending me this picture of Erwin Orchards in Michigan and getting me blogging again. I've gathered some good material in the past few weeks on gugelhupfs, eldery counts who might be stalking me and supermarket grand openings as Friday night entertainment...Stay tuned!

Aunt Erwin

It sounds a little funny, but it's true.

As of 5:12 a.m. this morning, I've become an Aunt once again! Welcome to the world Connor Thomas! (The stats: 8 lbs 2 oz, 20.5 in, 10 fingers, 10 toes)

Maybe when you're a little older I'll tell you why your Aunt is named Erwin and your Uncle is named Flo. Ha!

Lookie there!

...an Erwin!


My American friend Erin (who lives in Munich and is technically like me an "Erwin"), was recently featured in this picture in the "Picture" (Germany's loveable tabloid). She had just attended Stoiber's (loveable Bavarian politician) son's wedding last weekend.

I have no idea who the other people in the picture are...

"Make like a tree and get outta here"

Thanks to my informant Fabian for providing the tip that someone on the 4th floor is poking fun at the name Erwin. (That was supposed to be my job!)

An exotic, leafy palm named Erwin. Okay, I can see the irony there.

But maybe Fabian our new doctor of philosophy can riddle me this: Why?

These are a few of my favorite things!

Just brought back the following favorite things from the States in no particular order. I unfortunately couldn't get the "whiskers on kittens" past customs...

Sound of Music - 40th anniversary DVD
Canadian Maple Syrup
Jalapeños in a can
Jiffy Corn Muffin Mix
Kraft Mac'n'Cheese
Libby's Pumpkin in a Can
Pure Vanilla Extract
Taco Seasoning
Tabasco Sauce
Marshmallows
Instant Oatmeal Maple & Brown Sugar

This reminds me: Only one more packet of oatmeal left! I've been making it at the office and have had to do a lot of aufklaerungsarbeit (awareness training) with my colleagues. Besides the ever-popular "what is THAT?", some reactions have included....

"Does it smell like curry in here?" (matthias p AND matthias v on seperate occasions)
"Maple Syrup and Brown Sugar, that's a weird combination." (bernhard)
"Who's having beef bouillon?" (andreas)

Are you sure your name is Erwin?

I did a doubletake yesterday while watching Austria v. Germany in the Euro 2008 Football Championship, and it definitely wasn't because the Germans played so well.

Meet Erwin Hoffer, member of the Austrian national soccer team!

Wtf? This guy's name is Erwin? Well then I believe in miracles...

Maybe now I should take back all those awful things I said about mustaches and Dresden accents. Erwin Hoffer has shattered the Erwin mold!

After a quick background check, I found out that he actually goes by his nickname "Jimmy". Heck, I would too.

My name is Erwin-le

Here's a shout-out to Uncle Mike who just sent me a link to his genealogy website. I had always known that my mother's father's family came from Germany, but no one could ever narrow it down further than "southern" Germany. Thanks to the website I know now that they came from Münklingen, a small town in Schwabenländle!

The look on Flo's face told me I should probably not be too excited about this. Swabians are after all the laughingstock of the nation, known among other things for their stinginess. No one wants to be a Schwab. Not even my co-worker, who technically is from Schwaben and likes bargins (günstig!), wants to be called a Schwab.

Considering this, Flo's reaction was understandable. "You're a Prussian AND a Schwab!?" For a Bavarian possibly the worst combination ever. Poor guy. He was just getting used to Prussia and now this...

Happy Name Day!

It's Thursday, May 29th and you know what that means....

It's Erwin's name day!

I decided that in honor of my name day, I would do something incredibly German.

I'm not talking about standing 1cm from the next person in line at the supermarket. I'm talking about riding my bike to work! Picture me, Er(w)in, on a man's mountain bike in a skirt and heels. It's an akward picture, I admit, unless you are one of the many German men who tried to look up that skirt. It was a great ride straight through the English Garden. I even crossed the path of a nicely dressed couple holding hands, the woman carrying a bouquet. I asked myself, who walks around like that at 8:55 a.m. Thursday morning? Answer: People who get married at 8:42 a.m.

Announcing my name day to my co-workers resulted in quite a few questions ("But, when is your REAL name day?"), some strange looks (Wolfgang) and a few congratulatory remarks (Eva and that Eisbach waiter). Erwin's day was celebrated in style with my colleague Antonia, my own private princess, over a rhubarb spritzer. I know what you are thinking....Rhubarb juice? Yes, it does exist, but apparently it is bad for your gums (Wolfgang).

I'm looking forward to spending the rest of my name day watching Germany's Next Top Model. Now, I just have to find my way back home on the bike!

Climb ev'ry mountain!

Well, at least ev'ry mountain with a restaurant on top.

We ushered in this year's hiking season with an easy tour in Garmisch-Partenkirchen. It actually seemed more like a pub crawl with a mountain caught in the middle.

The parking lot in Garmisch was completely full and I probably should have expected we would be accompanied by 500 of our closest friends (not to mention Russian tourists) when the woman in the car next to us nonchalantly handed her husband the book "Mountain tours for Late Risers".

After walking through the Partnach Gorge, we headed towards Eckbauer where we took a break for a lunch of BabyBel, Landjäger and bread. Of course, ev'ryone knows the best part about hiking is the Brotzeit!

Last stop was for a drink in a restaurant in Wamberg, an idyllic mountain settlement, desperately clutching to its fame as "highest village in Germany with a church" after its disappointing demotion from "highest parish in Germany" in the 1970s. Please don't mention this to the locals.

I'm already looking forward to our next hiking tour. I have the strange urge to spend a night in a mountain-top cottage, dreaming of mountain goats and alpine flowers under red and white checkered sheets.

Spring Breake

"Spring Breake" (not to be confused with its distant cousin "Spring Break") is the newest American craze to invade your local, mountainous Bavarian village.

Thanks to brother-in-law Mathias whose eye for detail (mostly in the lower right-hand corner) discovered this most interesting poster.

Please note, contents have been edited for my American readers.

Why is my name Erwin?

That's the question I keep asking myself!

Germans call me Erwin all the time....

Most are unfamiliar with the name Erin (despite all the hopes I placed on the movie Erin Brockovich to spread truth and justice in this world) and they must think Erwin, a male name, is close enough. Every time I hear Erwin, I cringe a little inside. Just one pesky letter carefully placed between r and i has the power to transform me instantly into a 47 year-old man from Dresden with a moustache and a mullet - vokuhila for German insiders.

To my horror, Erin and Erwin are not as different as I thought. Both can be traced back to the Celtic root "eirin" meaning peace. But, Erwin can also be derived from the Old German words "heri" (army, warring people and warriors) and "wini" (friend). Hmmm....War AND peace. I know I've heard that before.

Well, I have decided to come to some inner "peace" and embrace my new identity as Erwin. If you can't beat them, join them! Actually, I just need a name day, there being no St. Erin. (But of course a St. Florian!).

Other random facts about Erwin:

• Famous Erwins include the head of CSU, the leading political party in Bavaria and the mascot of Schalke 04, a football team in North Rhine-Westphalia. Any resemblance to me here?
• It's a township in the Upper Peninsula, population 357, that I might have driven through on my way to a Yooper wedding from Chicago.
• It's an "American Cafe and Bar" in Windy City that I've always wanted to visit.